Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
