too bad you live with your parents still
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
