my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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