Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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