Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
