that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
