Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
bring money and cleavage
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
