I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
