Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
