I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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