we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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