she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
