I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize