so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
