do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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