there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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