I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
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every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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