I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
