went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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