Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
