Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize