I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
