Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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