My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
