question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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