i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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