Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
