Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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