Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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