the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
