I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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