Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
COCAINE IS GR8
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
