Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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