who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
