note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
