If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he fucked my hip out of place.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
