There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
