I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
