The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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