girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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