Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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