Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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