Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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