she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
