This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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