I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
