I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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