but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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