Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
