so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
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Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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