you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
