Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
