dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
