i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
