Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Your dad touched me again.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
