So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
and she was petting her beer can
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
