is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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