Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
